Rules, Rules, Rules (subtitle, I’ve Come a Long Way, Baby)

What do you people have against Barbie Dolls?

I was shocked and appalled to read the changes to the rules on #TvsZ tonight. These rules not only allow, but encourage, violence against Barbie Dolls and present an undue danger to Barbie Dolls everywhere.

Be creative, you say, drown Zombies in a cup of coffee you say . . . How would you drown this in a cup of coffee? (See Picture 1, I’m too dumb, I mean blonde, to figure out a way to move the pictures.)

Impossible, huh. But this, this perfect little plastic doll. The embodiment of unobtainable beauty and unrealistic body expectations. This vulnerable, plastic pop culture goddess. She . . . is defenseless against you ruthless humans merely wanting a few moments safe from a poor malnourished Zombie. (See Picture 2, see note above about dumbness, blondeness.)

Shame on you creators of #TvsZ. Consider your actions!

P.S. You know you all totally started fantasizing about killing me the moment you read that rule. To you, I say “Good Day.” I said “GOODDAY!”